They share everything except their bed and bedroom. Faced with different rhythms of life, snoring or need for space, these couples have chosen not to sleep together.
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COUPLE – If the marital bed is the quintessential symbol of the couple, then having a separate bedroom is often seen as a sign of decline in love. However, according to an ifop study published in 2021, 10% of French people living in partner separate room, and 6% do not but would like to. Adèle and Alexandre, Léna and Valentin, and Ozirin and Béranger are among those who have taken the plunge. As you can see in the video abovethey trust the reasons for their choice HuffPost.
” I lived in the same room as my ex-boyfriend for three years and I was suffocating Adèle, 26, admits. They both stayed at his mother’s house. unemployed, ” was constantly in the room “. the naturopath, working from home, he also spent most of his time in this small room. So when she meets Alexandre, she immediately tells him that he wants to have his own room. On the house painter side, don’t worry.” this is how it feels better “So it’s quite natural that a year and a half ago, when Adèle moved in with Alexandre in Touraine, they all went to her room.
In addition to the desire to have their personal space, the couple does not have the same pace of life. ” And I also find that I have a better quality of sleep. there is no hole mattress when we sleep together, and i can have the duvet all to myself Adele jokes.
Léna and Valentin have taken the step after 4 years of living together simply to sleep better. ” From the beginning we wanted to have our own rooms but we couldn’t due to lack of space. “explains the 36-year-old nurse. One move later, she buys an extra bed that they put in Léna’s daughter’s room, but the couple still sleeps together.
But Valentín, manager and developer, suffers from sleep apnea and snore enormously, which is incompatible with his wife’s light sleep. When she is pregnant with her child, she makes the decision to sleep in her daughter’s room. ” He told me “yes, absolutely, you will sleep better”. And even he finally knows that he annoys me, so he doesn’t sleep well either. »
Find your personal identity
Beyond the quality of sleep, for these couples having their own space is also a way of preserving the personality of each one. ” I had a tendency to lose my identity a little, to dilute myself in the couple and in the other, Adele details. That is why we also like to enter each one’s room to soak up their person. »
If Ozirin and Béranger have been together for 5 years, it is because having a separate bedroom “has Sure [leur] partner “. After a year of relationship, this educational assistant and this social worker opened a store together. ” The fact of working together, of living together, of doing so many things together, we began to not support each other anymore. “says the 23-year-old. Lovers become partners and forget each other. the partner stagnates and neither develops personally.
When they have the opportunity to have a house, we said “to each his room”underlines the 26-year-old. It allows us each to have our space, our life, and in the end it makes us much closer. “Le Normand believes that too many people are in a relationship” live for each other, not for themselves which leads to the explosion. ” Sleep separately really allowed us to rediscover ourselves “, concludes Ozirin, who also no longer hesitates to stage or talk about his partner in thesocial networks.
And the intimacy in all this?
In people’s minds, the marital bed rhymes with sexuality. ” What is it really based on?Lena asks. Desire arises at any time, at any time of day, anywhere. It is not necessarily in the common bed. »
For Adele too change the time of day. It doesn’t have to be when you wake up or when you go to bed. “. The young woman believes that there are still fewerprivacy that in his other relations, especially in the morning when waking up. On the other hand, she and Alexandre have launched an evening ritual where [ils se] say goodnight and [se font] A hug “.
Ozirin and Béranger’s shop had buried all desire in the couple. ” we weren’t doing anything “, she explains. But having each one their own space has allowed lovers to find each other: “ Since then, we want to hug each other and make love. »
All three couples are unanimous about the excitement of joining the other in their bedroom. “It is a kind of territory to conquer”underlines the Nîmes.
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