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In March 2019, a specialized dating site shared the profile of the typical unfaithful woman: 37 years old on average, senior executive, city dweller, married for more than five years and mother of two children. Different studies also tend to show that more and more women resort to infidelity (31% declared having been unfaithful in 2014, 33% in 2016). Who are these women? What are your motivations? How do you organize your life? These will be the questions we wanted to ask some of them.
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Baya is 32 years old and is in couple for 10 years with the one who was also her first lover: “We had a story when we were teenagers with moments in which we separated and when we got back together, I only knew him. I am in love and happy with him but I know it is an exception in today’s world that he has never slept with anyone other than his spouse. When I think about it, I get frustrated. I would love to know what he does. But I managed to keep my loyalty even if he stings me. There is only one particular point where I am unfaithful, it is a sexual practice that does not interest him at all. Me, I wanted to try BDSM for years. So after several non-conclusives from him, I decided to look elsewhere. For me, it’s less serious because it’s something he can never give me.”
An experienced and trustworthy man.
berry finds your lover on a specialized adult dating site: “I wanted someone who knew a lot about bdsman experienced man. I found this man who was willing to introduce me to his universe and who seemed trustworthy to me. He always gave me the option to say no and put a lot of emphasis on consent. The first time, he was obviously scared. I had given instructions not to have marks on the body. He respected that and I loved our date. We met three times.”
Video. Female infidelity is more common than you think
At the third, Baya feels like she’s starting to spin: “I’m not saying I’ve walked, but the most extreme practices don’t interest me. I don’t want to bleed or have scars.” “Sexually, I am also limited by my experiences, anything that is a little different from what I know how to do scares me. The goal was not to exceed my limits physically but to discover another psychological state, another way of sharing something with the other. I found myself with a good person who understood that I wouldn’t go any further. He thanked me like he always did after our dates and I felt like ‘he also knew we wouldn’t see each other again. I feel like I’m really unfaithful because I haven’t done anything that I do with my partner. There was very little tenderness and not exactly the same as in a sexual relationship with feelings of love. I have a lot of respect for this man and his practices, now that I know what he is, I know he’s totally not for me. But I’m glad I did. He could have stayed in my head for years, the frustration could have weighed on my partner. There, I chose the man who shares my life. I chose the sex we do together. I feel less confined. Now I know what’s on the other side and I don’t feel like facing it anymore. It is with the man who shares my life that I want to have fun.”
An infidelity motivated by a specific desire
She believes that without this particular desire, she would never have embarked on infidelity: “For classic sex, I wouldn’t have gone there. I think it wasn’t worth it. There I told myself that it was for something I couldn’t.” don’t give me There is no comparison. I think it would be the same if I wanted to sleep with a woman, for example. It is not what it is and it has nothing to do with our relationship and our sex life together. it is still infidelity, but for me it is an important nuance. I wouldn’t go looking for something I might have at home.”
She thinks she’ll never do it again: “I don’t have any other wishes right now that my husband can’t do. And I’m not sure that will ever happen. I still want him and I think this experience has enriched and enriched me.” my sex life but I don’t want more. I already had my account. I even think I would recommend it to my friends if I had the chance. Not especially BDSM because it’s something personal but to satisfy your desire outside the relationship if necessary. It’s a sacrifice that It’s not necessary in my opinion. It doesn’t stop you from loving your relationship, loving the other and enjoying sex with him.”
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